I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
