Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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