why didn't you poke me back
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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