loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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