its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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