We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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