i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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