Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
