Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
