honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
