Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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