If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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