Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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