She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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