So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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