I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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