Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
