I'm going to jail i love you
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
