I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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