it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
