You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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