Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
