sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
