oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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