3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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