I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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