When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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