So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
