Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
