Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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