just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
