I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I had to cum in my sink.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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