She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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