I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
