you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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