I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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