loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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