where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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