I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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