Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
