do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
