Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
