drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize