i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
