quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
