Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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