I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
