If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
