Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
