can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
