For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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