Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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