I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
