Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize