Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
