Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are these your boobs on my camera?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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