Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
