So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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