it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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