she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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